


Stay

by moon_star



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Divorce, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Divorce, Romance, i heard a song and this happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 21:26:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3355826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_star/pseuds/moon_star
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why did Derek and Stiles get a divorce in the first place?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> ... ah, yeah, you guessed it, you is right, it's all due to sam smith's stay with and i totally blame him for this one!
> 
> as always, enjoy <3

“And for you I keep my legs apart,

And forget about my tainted heart,

And I will never be the first to say it,

But still, I, yes, you know I, I, I,

I would do it, push a button, pull a trigger,

Climb a mountain, Jump off a cliff,

‘Cause you know baby,

I love you, love you, a little bit,

I would do it, I would say it,

I would mean it, we could do it,

If it was you and I and if only I..”

 

- _Little Bit_ , by Lykke Li

 

“I love you,” said Stiles, raising his cold hand and placing it against Derek’s neck.  “So much –incredibly so, I would give everything and anything for you; from the moment I first lay my eyes on you, I remember thinking ‘ah, he’s the one,’ and I still firmly believe that you are the only one for me.  Not just because I know you love me the same, but because my love for you is greater –stronger, than anything I’ve ever felt … but –”

And Derek nodded.

He loved Stiles so much, he didn’t know what to do with all that love that had bottled up inside. But –

“I think it’s time to move on,” said Stiles, tears running down his pale face.

And again, Derek nodded.

He knew this was coming; they had both been fighting for three years to keep their relationship alive, to keep their connection to each other.  But somewhere between sharing the same bed and understanding for each other, they became what they never were: strangers.

It was expected, Derek supposed.

They met during his sophomore year in college, Derek was a law student, Stiles was into the medical field.  Both of them met in their philosophy class, Stiles talked too much –Derek didn’t talk enough.  Somehow, they made their way to each other and it had unexpectedly worked out for them fine.  Too fine.

They dated for three years, Derek proposed once Stiles obtained his bachelor’s degree.  They moved in together and it was beyond perfect –nothing, no one, could ever come between what they had, not their busy schedules, not their countless nights spent studying, not their different fields.  And when Stiles graduated at the top of his class, and finally established himself as a doctor at the age of twenty-six, they decided to finally marry.

Everything went downhill from there.

They moved out of their condo and bought a big house, with two pools and more than three acres of green land, just outside of the city.  Derek thought they would be alright.

He went to work at his family’s firm because that had always been his goal, to join his sister in their family’s firm, and Stiles went to work at the Martin’s medical empire and before he knew it, they drifted apart.  They always kept in touch, they never actually knew were the other was due to their work, but never once did Derek think badly of Stiles, or never questioned him –if Stiles said he had been at a meeting until one in the morning, then that was what it was and vice versa.  Their breakup was not due to trust issues, it was due to the way their relationship slowly burned out.

“I, uh, don’t know how you want to go about this,” said Stiles, his hand still resting against Derek’s neck.  “I mean, I don’t want to keep the house, I, uh, don’t know if you do, but whatever we decide, I want to make sure that you know that despite our incredible difference in wealth, and despite the fact that we didn’t prepare a prenup, I am not going to try to take anything.”

And at that, Derek felt a little hurt.

“Stiles,” Derek said placing both of his hands against Stiles’ cheeks.  “You know I would never think about that, I know you and I know that would never be an issue, and even if it were, Stiles, if you need anything, anything at all, I would do it, I would give it.”

And Stiles smiled a little.

Derek leaned in and placed his lips against Stiles’ and, _God_ , the way his heart beat rose when he touched Stiles was the reason why he was not able to let Stiles go before.

He didn’t want to end their eleven year relationship in a blink of an eye, if he could do anything to salvage it, he was sure to try it and he did for the past year.  He went out of his way to try and make their relationship work, he did different things, rented out restaurants, bought courtside tickets, flew across the country in private planes, rented boats across the sea, bought a private island, hell, he was so close to buying a mountain.  He tried so hard to rekindle their connection to the point where it became exhausting being with each other.

Derek knew how hard Stiles was trying, he knew how difficult it was for them to let the other go and he came to the realization that despite their various different attempts, it wasn’t going to work out.

“We can move out at the same time,” said Derek.  “I don’t want to keep the house and neither do you.  We can schedule the move at the same time that way; neither of us has to stay here longer than the other.  I’ll have the realtor –I will buy condos, I will furnish them and I will make sure yours has a great view with lots of windows; I know how much you like that.  I will make sure it has a big kitchen with an island, the way you are used to; I will make sure you have extra rooms, lots of them; and a walk-in closet with different shelves and  I will make sure that your furniture comes from Italy, I will make sure you have I –Stiles, I…” and he cried, wrapping Stiles in his arms tightly.

It hurt so much to let Stiles go.

He was greedy, so incredibly greedy; he wanted to ask Stiles to stay.

Stiles hugged Derek tightly, and Derek could hear Stiles’ small sobs and he could feel Stiles’ tears agains his neck.

Derek knew that there was a high possibility of Stiles staying if he asked him to and he really wanted to.  He wanted to continue to wake up every morning next to Stiles, he wanted to see Stiles’ face every night before he went to bed; and he wanted to continue to talk to Stiles for hours about his day and hear about Stiles’ day; he desperately wanted them to stay together.

“I, uh,” begin Stiles after a minute.  “I want to move to an apartment, I don’t want a condo –I want a small apartment, I like small apartments.”

“Right,” Derek said.

He had forgotten how much Stiles liked small things, simple things.

It had completely slipped his mind for the past three years.

>//<

“Right, so,” said Scott as he sat across from Stiles.  “You don’t want to keep the house… and neither does Derek, so, what do you want to do with it?”

“I don’t know, bro,” replied Stiles.

He and Derek had finally decided to split, and it had been the hardest choice for him so far, but it was time to move on.  They were both not ready, and they had fought for three years to keep their relationship alive and he was exhausted; he knew Derek was exhausted.

It wasn’t even like they didn’t get along, they got along fine.  Whatever Stiles requested, Derek would easily oblige and vice versa.  Their separation wasn’t due to the fact that they couldn’t stand each other or any of that sort.  So, coming to the conclusion that they needed to separate was very difficult.

He and Derek had come to that conclusion three days ago and now here he was, ready to file for divorce.

God, he never thought this day would actually come for them –he prayed it would never come.

Stiles had always thought that when they married, when they actually went through with the marriage, they would be together for the rest of their lives. He was sure that they would start a family, _hell_ , he looked into adopting a child more times than he could count, but Derek never really seemed to want the same.  When Stiles brought it up one time, all Derek had said was: ‘One day, yeah.’  But the thing was, that day, during their marriage, never came.

Between Stiles’ busy schedule and Derek’s, they really didn’t seem to have the time to actually raise a child, which is why Stiles didn’t mind as much that Derek never seemed to have time to talk about expanding their family.

Soon, their relationship started to die.

Derek didn’t make it to their lunch dates; he didn’t make it to their dinner dates.  They were both never home.  There was even a whole month where Stiles didn’t see Derek even though Derek wasn’t out of the state or anything.  They were just so busy that they kept missing each other.  If he was home, Derek wasn’t; if Derek came home, Stiles was already asleep and vice versa.

After six months of this, Stiles talked to Derek and they both decided to spend more time together.  Only, Derek didn’t really go out of his way to spend more time with Stiles.  What he actually did was just buy Stiles expensive gifts, go on trips together, but they spent most of their time on their laptops working.

“Don’t you think it’d be better for you guys to talk this out?” asked Scott behind his computer.  “I mean, did you guys just fight?  You guys never fight.  Maybe talking this out…I don’t know man.  Divorce is kind of a big deal.”

And Stiles knew.

“Yeah, I know.  But me and Derek have been struggling with our relationship for almost three years; we can’t keep going, Scott.”

“Three years?”

Stiles sighed.

No one knew anything about it, no one could know if they themselves didn’t exactly know.

“Well, you have all of our support,” said Allison.  “And I will do my best to represent you and your interests in this divorce.”

“Thank you,” replied Stiles as he opened a box in the kitchen.

Derek and Stiles had both moved out of their three year home the day before and even though he really didn’t take anything from the house, he still had ten boxes to unpack and it was hard.  Derek’s smell lingered with all of his belongings and he kept on breaking down every time he came across something Derek had given him or something that reminded him of their time together –which, everything reminded him of Derek.

“Listen,” said Allison.  “Laura emailed me yesterday and she thinks that before filing for divorce, it would be good to sit down and have an informal mediation in order to divide everything that needs to be divided so that we can draft the agreement.”

And so it begin.

“I think it’s a good idea, and I am free next week, but I need to know if you are free next week and if you want to go ahead and meet then or would you rather wait a little longer?” asked Allison as she arranged white hydrangeas into a vase.

“The sooner the better,” he replied tears in his eyes.

“Alright,” said Allison.  “Let’s do Thursday of next week.”

“Hmm,” responded Stiles with a small nod.

 Before he knew it, Scott was holding him in his arms and he was buried under his neck.  And for the fifth time in his whole life, Scott was there to hold him when he was breaking down.  Scott was there to put him back together.  Scott was there to support him like he always did.

And again, he went back to being the seven year old who couldn’t stop crying until Scott wrapped his arms around him and patted his back.

“It’s alright Stiles,” whispered Scott as he rubbed Stiles’ back.  “Cry all you need to bro; I got you.”

And Stiles knew he did.

>//<

“Alright, then, per Stiles’ request, Derek will keep the private island; that’s settled, but what about the house? The private jet? The Lamborghini? The Ferrari? And the rest of the cars? And the condo in Manhattan?  The beach house in Miami? And the home in Greece?  And the money in –”

“Derek,” Stiles interrupted Laura.  “It’s all Derek’s.  He bought it all, he can keep it all.”

Stiles didn’t want any of it.

“Some of them were gifts for you, Stiles,” said Derek from across the desk.  “In fact, everything Laura listed is half of the stuff that was bought _jointly_ during our marriage –I want you to keep half of everything, Stiles.”

Stiles sighed.

Yes, everything was bought during the marriage, but it was Derek who had bought it with _his_ money –Stiles never actually contributed to any of it.  And it wasn’t to say that Stiles was poor, he was a doctor, and he made a good amount of money.  However, Derek always insisted on paying for everything or rather, Derek always bought everything without consulting with Stiles and, uh, since when did they even have a home in Greece?

“Wait,” said Stiles.  “Half of the stuff Laura listed are things I’ve _never_ heard of.  Since when do we have a home in Greece?”

“Last summer we went to Greece and you mentioned you ‘loved the view,’ so I bought the house we had originally rented, you know, for future use,” said Derek as he took of his glasses.

“I did say that, but you never mentioned you bought the house,” said Stiles loosening his tie.

Derek followed the movement, and Stiles had to really suppress the urge to take Derek’s hand and run to the nearest restroom and take off his suit; man, how Stiles loved the way Derek looked in suits.

“I was going to take you there for your birthday next month and surprise you,” said Derek simply.  “But, uh, guess we won’t be going back.  Anyway, I bought it for you. Please keep it.”

Stiles looked at Derek for the first time today and his heart skipped a beat.

That’s right; this was why he wasn’t able to let him go all these years.

“It’s settled then,” said Laura.  “We are doing an even split and that’s that.  Is there anything in particular that you have a claim to, Derek?  Stiles, is there anything you must definitely walk out of this marriage with?”

Stiles needed a minute.

Eleven years of his life were being thrown away with one document and he couldn’t take it; he couldn’t stand seeing his life be completely broken into pieces, but it wasn’t like he could again ask Derek to stay seeing how determined Derek was to move on with his life.  And perhaps Stiles needed the same.

And right now, his past was flashing right before his eyes reminding him of why he loved the man across the desk so much.  Even by putting a definite end to their marriage, nothing would change.  He loved Derek and he had done so from the moment he first saw him in the lecture hall, from the way Derek played with his pen when he was nervous, from the way Derek crumpled paper as he concentrated, from the way Derek endlessly touched his face, from his whole hearted laugh, from the tattoo on his back, from the way he kissed Stiles’ neck, from the way his eyes melted his heart, from the way his touch wrecked him hard.

He was glad to have met Derek.

He was glad to have fallen for Derek.

He was glad to have married Derek.

And if he were given a second chance at this, no matter how many times he was given the option to start from scratch; to erase these past few years and start anew, he would chose Derek.  He would look for him everywhere he went, he would wait for him, no matter how long it took him to make his way to Derek, he would chose him again, and again, and again, and again. 

He knew that no matter what happened from here on out, it would always be Derek for him.

Fate was a scary thing, but in order to keep himself sane, he had to believe in it.  Because no matter how many days passed by, how the future turn of events were to form, he knew that him and Derek would collide again.

Stiles knew that Derek would make his way back to him.

This separation wasn’t permanent; it was only a temporary change.

>//<

“Derek, it has almost been a year, would you please consider moving on?” asked Laura from across the room.  “You guys _did_ decide to divorce, you know?”

And the thing was Derek did not want to move on; the divorce decree was nothing but a legal document.

He didn’t want to forget Stiles.

He didn’t want start anew.

He didn’t want to do anything that would cause him to lose more touch with Stiles than he had already done.

Okay, fine.

Stiles moved on.

Derek didn’t.

He wouldn’t.

He couldn’t it.

“It’s not about that, Laura,” replied Derek.  “I’m not sitting around waiting for him –yes, I haven’t seen him; yes, he hasn’t called or texted, but I know that I will see him again and we will be okay.”

After the divorce was finalized, Stiles had to go overseas for the purposes of his continuous education and Derek knew that they were already divorced, but still; he wished he had found out about it straight from him and not from when he saw Scott in court.

“Oh, he’s fine,” had said Scott when Derek very subtly had asked about Stiles.  “The Tokyo life style seems to be fitting him just fine, so I’m sure he will be alright; I mean I had my doubts when he first told me he was going, but now that he’s there and that he’s gotten pretty used to the city, I feel more relieved, you know?”

“No,” had whispered Derek.  “I didn’t know he had left.”

And he wanted to know why he hadn’t been informed, why he hadn’t been told from the very beginning; but then he remembered that there was no real reason for Stiles to tell him anything anymore.

Derek had hoped that they would keep in touch no matter what.

Thanksgiving came and he wanted to know if Stiles would be coming back to spend time with his dad, but it wasn’t like he could ask if he was coming back when he wasn’t supposed to know that Stiles had left in the first place –so the whole situation was a bit difficult for him.

New Year’s Eve came around and again, he wanted to know if Stiles would be coming any time soon.  He even thought about traveling to Tokyo himself with the hopes of running into him, but then again if he did in fact get to see Stiles, what would be his reason for being there in the first place; what was he supposed to say?

Before he knew it, Winter was drawing to a close and he had bought Stiles a present, because he couldn’t fucking help himself –and he texted Stiles to wish him a happy birthday, but Stiles had only replied with: _thanks._

And that was that.

“He’s back in town, you know,” said Laura.  “If you want to see him so desperately, why don’t you just simply go see him?”

“It’s not that simple,” replied Derek.  “We’re divorced; we have no business with each other –there is no reason for me to see Stiles.”

And he hated it.

“But there is a reason,” said Laura as she picked up her files and put them in her briefcase.  “You want to see him –that little brother should be reason enough.”

And he wished it were.

“But, if you must _have_ an absolute reason to see him, then here,” she said handing him a yellow envelope.  “He requested this from me, please deliver it to him.”

“What is it?” he asked taking the sealed envelope in his hands.

“I’m not sure I’m allowed to say,” replied Laura as she reached the door.  “But if you want to find out, then take it to him and ask.”

And with that, his sister was gone.

He grabbed his blazer and walked out the building, his heart rising with every step he took.

After one year, he would finally get to see Stiles.

God, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

>//<

Derek waited outside Stiles’ apartment for five minutes before actually ringing the doorbell.

He had debated whether or not it was a good idea to come all this way to see Stiles just because he wanted to see him and he was sure he could always just hire a currier  to deliver whatever it was that was in the envelope, but at the same time, he _really_ wanted to see Stiles’ face.

With that in mind, he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

He rang it twice, his heart a complete mess.  And just when he was about to leave, the door opened suddenly, only it wasn’t Stiles who opened the door; and Derek’s heart broke into a million pieces in just five seconds.

Derek couldn’t say anything –nothing, he was stunned at the sight of a pregnant blond girl at the door.

“Hello,” she said.  “Can I help you?”

Right, he had to drop something off.

It was true that he and Stiles had both decided to move on –to move forward, their divorce was something that was completely needed in order for them to be happier, but he didn’t count with Stiles actually _moving_ _on_ this fast or at all.

And suddenly, he remembered what Stiles had said before.

“What do you think about adopting, Derek?” he had asked one evening in September and Derek hadn’t known what to say.

“I think that it would be nice, you know, to have a family of our own,” had continued Stiles all the while keeping his eyes on Derek.  “I’ve given this some thought Derek, and I think that adopting is a good idea and I want us –I would _like_ us to start the process, if you feel the same that is.”

And Derek didn’t know what to say.

Sure, he wanted a family of their own, but not right at that moment.

They had only been married for three months and he –they hadn’t really enjoyed their marriage, they were so damn busy that they hadn’t had the opportunity to go on their honeymoon and here was Stiles requesting that they start looking into adopting.

Derek wasn’t ready.

They weren’t ready.

“I do want us to have a family of our own –one day,” he said.  “But, Stiles, you just started to work for Martin, you’ve only been there for three months, I’m so busy at the office, we barely have time for each other –Stiles, I don’t think the timing is right.”

He saw Stiles’ face –the way the smile faded into a flat line and Derek wished he could have taken it back, but they _really_ weren’t ready for a baby.

And now, here he was standing in front of the woman who had fulfilled Stiles’ desires for a family.

Derek hated it.

Fate was a scary thing –one thing, one single decision, could alter its course and everything could change in the blink of an eye.

And Derek wanted to cry.

>//<

Pitiful.

That’s what Stiles was.

The moment he heard Derek’s voice, he ran to door.  God, he wanted to see Derek’s face.

“Derek?” he said as he made it to the door and why did Derek have to look even more attractive than Stiles remembered him?

“Hey,” he said resting his eyes on Derek’s lips just before he threw himself in his arms.

And he knew he shouldn’t have.

He knew better than to do that; he knew, he really did, but seeing Derek for the first time in a year, hearing his voice, turned him into a complete mess and he just really wanted to hold him, to touch him, to breathe him; he needed to feel Derek’s arms around him.

He was crazy.                            

And it was stupid of him to think that something would change, that he would be able to control his urge to hold Derek if he saw him in the next few days –it had taken all of his will power just to stop himself from going to Derek’s home the moment he was back in his apartment.

He wrapped his arms around Derek, and he felt like he was finally home.

Every part of his body, every single cell in his body relaxed the moment Derek wrapped his arms around him; and it was easy to bury his face under Derek’s neck and inhale deeply.  He had missed Derek’s smell so much and even though it always lingered around him, it was never enough.

Being held by Derek was like feeling the warm sun after a storm; like breathing after holding his breath underwater –it was surreal to think that all this time, all these days that had passed by, all he had wanted to do was see Derek’s face, hear his voice.  And seeing how desperate he had been to be held by Derek all this time made him feel pitiful.

He released Derek and backed up slowly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his face a deep shade of red.

“No,” said Derek raising his hand to Stiles’ head.  “I, uh, missed you too.”

And Stiles smiled looking at Derek’s face.  He wanted to say so much –wanted to ask so many questions, wanted to kiss him, to touch him, he had make his hands into balls to restrain himself.

“Are you guys coming inside or…?” asked Erica.

At that, Stiles blushed deeper.

He’d forgotten about Erica.

>//<

Derek was stupid.

He was completely stupid.

If there was ever a time when he might have felt smart, he took that moment back.

“Oh,” he said now.

Stiles had explained that Erica was a fellow doctor’s wife who was pregnant and because Boyd needed to go to London for a seminar for a month, Erica was staying with him so that he could help her in anyway needed, since she was so close to delivering her baby.

Boyd, her husband, had transferred from New York to California, but they still hadn’t managed to get anything done as far as buying a home because Boyd had to go to Arizona for a seminar a week after they arrived here.  And they had their own apartment, but Erica really wanted a house with a back yard for their child.

And that’s where Stiles came in.

He offered to help Erica look for a house while Boyd was away and so, he had asked Laura for her real estate opinion; hence, the manila folder.

And honestly, why did Derek not wait for an explanation instead of creating his own assumptions?

Ah, right, because he didn’t think he deserved an explanation.

“Well if you should need anything, please let me know,” he said smiling at her.

“You know,” she said rubbing her belly.  “Stiles said you were the definition of attractive, I thought he was joking –but, he’s right; you are very good looking.”

And Derek blushed.

Stiles had said that?

“Ah,” he whispered.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” she said.  “Thank your mom for the amazing genes.”

And Derek smiled.

“Right, so,” said Stiles as he made it back to the living room.  “I’ve got to get to work, so…”

And Derek nodded.

He wished he could stay longer –but, even if he did, what would he do if Stiles was going to be at work.

“Thanks for the coffee,” said Derek.  “I was hoping to, uh, catch up –you know, if you’re free, any day.”

Stiles smiled at him, God, how Derek had missed that smile, that gentle look in Stiles’ eyes.

How he had missed Stiles’ smell, the tip of his nose, the curve of his jaw, the honey in his eyes, the feel of his body against his; everything, Derek had missed everything.

“Sure,” replied Stiles.  “You just let me know when you’re free.”

And with that, Derek walked out the door, his heart a complete and utter mess.

>//<

“Ah, no, I can’t!” exclaimed Stiles getting up from his seat.

“You got plans?” asked Lydia, the heir to the Martin medical empire.

And he did, but he was not, under any circumstances, going to tell Lydia a thing about it.

“Yes,” he said, placing his hand at the back of his neck, a movement Lydia followed notably.

“You do that when you’re trying to hide something –what’re you hiding?” she asked sitting on his desk.

“Nothing!”

And the thing was he _didn’t_ want to hide it –why did he feel the need to hide it?

“Fine,” she said.

And Stiles sighed.

Derek had texted him earlier this week asking him out to dinner today and of course, Stiles didn’t refuse or rather, he didn’t think anything of it.  As soon as he read the text, he responded with: _when?_ And Derek responded with: _Thursday_.  To which Stiles responded with: _Where?_   And Derek responded with: _the usual?_ And Stiles had smiled, and had agreed to meet him there at seven on Thursday.  And Stiles was happy.

Stiles didn’t want to think too much into it.  It wasn’t to say that he shouldn’t think too much into it either, at the end of the day, he and Derek were divorced –so why was there a need to meet and “catch up?”  They didn’t _need_ to, but Stiles _wanted_ to.  He had been gone for a whole year –he wanted to know what Derek had done during all that time, who he had met, where he had gone; so much, he wanted to know so much that he didn’t think that it could be awkward between them.

They didn’t end up in bad terms –so, they could do this dinner and call it a day.

And Stiles should know better.

His relationship with Derek had ended, but his feelings for him had not.

He still felt that strong pull at his chest whenever he thought of Derek.  He still blushed when he remembered his time with Derek –when they did _this_ and _that_ , and how they’d both end up; and he still felt the urge to touch Derek, to hold him down against the mattress and –

Stiles should not have those kind of thoughts anymore, but he had them so often and it was starting to drive him a little more than crazy.

“Stiles,” said Lydia calling his attention back to her.  “I know it’s not the case, but, I feel the need to ask this: these plans, they’re not with some ex-husband you and I happen to know, _right_?”

Stiles gaped and blushed all at once; he didn’t know what to say.

“You _idiot_ ,” Lydia said before leaving, but not before hitting him on the head with her metal clip board.

And he was an idiot, he knew that much.

But, he _needed_ to see Derek.

>//<

Derek texted Stiles requesting that he meet him at his office and then head to the dinner together.

Why?

Because he was running late with a brief he needed to prepare for an in-camera inspection motion that needed to be filed with the court tomorrow and he thought about canceling, but he had done that so many times before that he didn’t want to make that mistake ever again.

And of course, he knew this was just a dinner with Stiles – _not_ a date, like Laura had said earlier; they were divorce, they didn’t do dates.

Now, they were friends, friends went out –or so he had been told before.

“Hey,” said Stiles coming through the opened door.

He looked tired.

“Hey,” said Derek resisting the urge to get up and hug him tightly against him.

But then again, friends hugged.

“I’m almost done,” said Derek.  “Just give me five minutes.”

And Stiles nodded.

“I’ll use this time to catch up on my emails then,” said Stiles as he took a seat on the black couch facing the window.

Derek wanted to know how Stiles’ day had been –what he had done, what he had eaten, about his patients, about his co-workers, about Lydia, but he couldn’t ask just yet; if he did, then he would end up getting distracted and he’d take longer to wrap up his brief and he hated to do that.  After all, he wanted to enjoy a nice meal with Stiles.  He wanted to catch up –to take a brief walk on memory lane and remember what it was like before.  And it had only been a year since the last time he sat down to have a meal with Stiles, but he felt like he couldn’t even remember what that dinner had been like.

He remembers sitting across from Stiles at Isaac’s restaurant, but he doesn’t remember what Stiles was wearing, what Stiles was saying or if he was even saying anything –he couldn’t remember.  These details that he kept forgetting were the reason why they ended up getting a divorce and nothing else.  They forgot what the other liked, what the other enjoyed doing, what they liked eating, what they liked reading, and in the end, they ended up becoming strangers.

When Derek realized he didn’t know anything about Stiles again, he panicked.

He walked into his home one Saturday evening and realized that he had completely forgotten to celebrate Stiles’ birthday, he had forgotten to celebrate their wedding anniversary, and he forgot to tell Stiles that he loved him every day.  Derek waited for Stiles to get home that night, but Stiles never did; he’d forgotten that Stiles was away at a two-week seminar in New York.

And Derek, being Derek, panicked again.

He booked a flight to New York first thing the next day.  He packed a small bag and didn’t call Stiles because he wanted to surprise him.  He wanted to make up for forgetting those important dates when Stiles never seemed to forget them.  Stiles deserved the whole world and Derek wasn’t giving him what he deserved, and he needed to make it right with Stiles, or rather, he needed to make it right between them.

He got to New York Sunday afternoon, and called Stiles as soon as he landed, but he hadn’t answered.

Derek called him again, and again, and again, and again, but Stiles hadn’t answered.  So, he decided to head to their condo and set up dinner reservations in Manhattan.  He took a taxi to their condo, showered and unintentionally, took a nap.

Derek woke up at around midnight and reached for his phone immediately.

Stiles had called him three times, and on the last call he had left a voicemail that said:

_Hey Der, sorry I couldn’t take your calls earlier, but I was in the airplane.  You called me a lot of times, but didn’t leave a voicemail, so I am hoping you are okay and that you didn’t need anything. If you do need something, or if, I don’t know, something’s happened, then call me as soon as you get my message.  Anyway, I just landed and I should be home shortly… I missed you, Der._

Derek was stupid.

He forgotten when Stiles was supposed to come back and what was worse, he hadn’t even noticed that Stiles had left; he hadn’t known.  Derek had texted with him throughout the week and of course, he knew that Stiles was busy and because he was too, he knew he might not get the chance to see him at all –but, he hadn’t realized that Stiles wasn’t even in the same state as him.

Derek sighed as he printed his motion and as he did, he looked over at Stiles who was now sprawled all over the couch, one leg hanging off the couch, his hands on top of his belly; and of course, he was sleeping because Derek had completely lost track of time and it was now almost nine o’clock.

How could he be so careless –so completely and utterly careless?

He hated himself for being this way.

Quietly, he walked over to Stiles and sat on the ground in front of him and reached out his hand to place it on Stiles’ cheek.  He felt like crying, Stiles was so close to him after one year and he couldn’t wrap his arms around him freely, he couldn’t kiss him endlessly and it was his own fault.    

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he caressed Stiles’ cheek with his thumb.  “I know I’ve fucked up.  I know I am the worst person when it comes down to remembering anything and I forget the most important things when it comes down to you, to us… Still, I, I know this selfish of me, I know this is something you might never consider, but if you give me one more chance –if you allow me one more chance, I will give it my all.

“I said that in the past –not just once, but four times, and I didn’t follow through, but one year without you was too long, I was on the verge of going insane.  It took all of me not to follow you to Tokyo – I bought tickets to Tokyo five times and every time, I thought of you.  I thought that maybe you wanted space; that the reason why you left was because you wanted space and so, I stayed here and waited patiently, as patiently as I could manage, for your return and as soon as I could, as soon as I had a good reason, I went to see you.  I knew I had missed you like crazy, but I hadn’t realized how empty, how hollow I was without you until you wrapped your arms around me and I couldn’t help but feel whole.

“It’s selfish of me to want you to stay; it’s cowardly of me to want you to stay because I’m afraid of losing you to someone else; I’m afraid of being without you, Stiles, I love you more than I loved you eleven years ago –I don’t think I’ll ever love someone as much as I love you; I don’t want to love anyone other than you, I’m sorry for being a poor excuse of a man… and I just –”

Derek stopped because suddenly, despite knowing Stiles was sleeping, he couldn’t face Stiles without feeling a lump on his throat.

“I just wish you’d stay…” he said, leaning in to lightly brush his lips to Stiles’.

He backed away to find Stiles’ eyes opened, looking straight at him the way they had always stared at him, engulfing him.

And Derek was weak, too weak; he leaned in to kiss Stiles.

>//<

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it... i did, so there's that :P
> 
> i know i tend to never finish anything, but stick around for the next chapter <3


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